51stcenturyfox: (Xander Frilly Heck)
WTH, yo?

Yuletide Care Bears NON-CON (from a link in [livejournal.com profile] fanficrants )

Slave Bear of Care-A-Lot

If you've seen that one already, I apologize. Hell, I apologize if you haven't.  But it's ridiculously cracky.  Yuletide is fabulous, but who requested that particular scenario?

Apiphile's Torchwood/ Muppets crossover story broke my brain long before this, though.


ETA: from Funny Or Die: This Is Why You're Fat. The Giant Breakfast Burrito wins for the most disgusting pic I've seen all day. Or maybe it's the french fry-encased hot dog on a stick. Just... can't decide.
51stcenturyfox: (ianto gwen jack countrycide)

This Torchwood drabble is random and wrong, but I had crack for lunch. And some shrimp. I hope it wasn't tainted.

*

Packing up Toshiko's books, Jack began to cry. "The Dominant's Manual? Leathersex? If only I had known!"

He collapsed to the floor weeping at the memory of the fleeting glances, the missed opportunities, the boots. Gwen knelt to comfort him, sweeping the Captain into her human arms and tenderly stroking his hair with her human fingers. She murmured comfortingly in Welsh as Ianto's gaze met hers.

Your Welsh is rusty, his blue eyes seemed to be saying, because if anyone's eyes could talk. Ianto's could. He could also fuck with his eyes, which was convenient for Jack in public places like Sainsburys.
51stcenturyfox: (Gwen Gun)

OMG LULZ.  I howled like a banshee.

Author's description:

Title: There Shall Be No Quarter
Author: Apiphile
Fandom: Torchwood/Sesame Street.
Word Count: 2,673
Rating: DO NOT READ THIS.
Pairing: Not telling. You'll heave.
Warnings: No one should read this fic. I warn for EVERYTHING.
Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to me. I am not responsible for your sanity if you read this fic.

"You just swore in front of a muppet," Owen said, surprisingly censorious for someone with his levels of cynicism.

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51stcenturyfox

May 2020

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