I don't even know what this is

[51stcenturyfox]

...but it's all I've got today.

----------

"Sahara!" Tosh managed with a snort.

"No. No no no... Gobi!" Gwen shrieked, shaking with laughter on the sofa.

"Deserts?" Ianto asked as he approached, expression quizzical. "Yes. They're hilarious."

"No," Tosh shook her head. "No, it's-" she dissolved into giggles again, almost sliding onto the concrete floor as Gwen made beached fish faces. "Stop it! I'm gonna, gon- might literally... wee. Stop!"

Ianto shook his head. "I don't... get it."

"It's, it's just, it's Jack!" Gwen said, attempting to calm down and stop laughing long enough to speak.

"What?"

"You know, how he's, he's a sexy guy, right?" She pointed out as Tosh mashed her hand against her own lips. "Except when he eats. He chews with his mouth open, and, and... talks with the... the food in."

Ianto stroked his chin. "His table manners do leave something to be desired-"

"Kalahari," Tosh stage-whispered.

"-But I'm not getting the desert references," he finished, faintly.

"It's just that Tosh..." Gwen sputtered, "just told me a term for things guys do which make them go from hot to unappealing in the space of two minutes."

Ianto looked at them expectantly.

"Moisture-killers!" They said in unison, and then Tosh did fall off the sofa.

Ianto wrinkled his brow. "Oh. Ohhhh!" He started to laugh. "Like... right!"

When Jack walked in, stuffing a large chocolate cannoli down his gob like a trained porpoise which had been tossed a whole mackerel, no one told him why "Mohave" was so funny.


---
This is foroneloveonelight . Because I stole moisture-killer from her. :D.  :D

Comments

[rodlox.livejournal.com]

*chuckles*
it's good to see Tosh enjoying herself and getting to laugh...though I hope she doesn't have an accident.

this is fun to read. thank you for writing and sharing this. it's....:D :D :D

ps: biggest desert on Earth: Antarctica. just in case you do a sequel.

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

I know! :D Sort of thought of that after.

This is probably um... before Cyberwoman. Yeah.

I was going to put this in fic, but I'm working on something totally different.

[edibleflowers.livejournal.com]

Just picturing Jack's face at the end is enough to make me start giggling out loud. Hee!

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

...he totally talks while he eats... :D

[lionessvalenti.livejournal.com]

Hilarious! Far too familiar with getting the giggles and nothing can stop them. Love it. :D

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

I haven't had a great giggle fit like that in a long time! I LOVE when that happens!

[easilymused1956.livejournal.com]

I love the way Ianto joins in with he girls!

That was an excellent treat.

Renee

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

TY. He loves the girls. LOVES THEM. And they love him. And they LOL at Jack all the time.

[shane-mayhem.livejournal.com]

XD

I love Jack's horrible eating habits. They DO THINGS to me.

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

They make me LOL. They're kind of charmingly yucky.

[pocky_slash.livejournal.com]

IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE IT'S TRUE.

Oh, Jack. I can just picture him at the end going, "What? What?!" with little bits of cannoli falling out of his mouth, which just makes the three of them laugh harder.

(In the scraps file of all the story-less scenes I've written, there are three connected snippets in which Ianto tries to train Jack out of his terrible table manners, his shouting instead of using the radios, and something else--maybe to do with paperwork? Because, seriously, if that's what table manners in the 51st century are like WE ARE ALL DOOMED.)

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

"What? You guys? C'mon. Tell me!"

OMG. I have to see these snippets. :D

Apparently in the future, it's sexy to show your food. It demonstrates that you have food, unlike those poor fellows eating sand.

Boeshane = hard knock life.

[thrace-adams.livejournal.com]

LMAO OMG that is just too funny!!!!! Seriously hilarious!!!

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

Moisture-killers, Thrace. :D

I wish I'd come up with that!

[valancy-joy.livejournal.com]

too too funny!!

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

Look! I have a doughnut. See! In my mmmflfmlflllm! :D

[bodlon.livejournal.com]

*snerk*

Oh, Team Torchwood, how I love you.

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

They have lots of LOLZ. Always.

They really don't do that much work. That's why there are so few episodes..

[mtgat]

*sporfle*

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

*back pat* More of a gentle smack. :)

[firefly-124.livejournal.com]

ROFLMAO!!

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

New word. Well, phrase. I'mma use it. Inappropriately. From now on! :D

[taffimai.livejournal.com]

Too funny! And poor, bewildered Jack.

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

He's still sexy, though. Just not with food showing!

[golden-d.livejournal.com]

XD

HILARIOUS, Foxy. A perfect coda to my evening. <333

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

My husband didn't LOL. I think he's concerned.

Ooops.

[wynkat1313.livejournal.com]

this is hilarious. Its one of those perfect moments that happens between friends when silliness strikes and you almost cant breath from it all. Delicious!

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

My fave moments! :D

[mimarie.livejournal.com]

and then Tosh did fall off the sofa

Yes! (Quick, Ianto - to the mop!)

*sniggers*

(can I just also say that I love the juxtaposition of marine imagery and nether-arridity? No? Prob'ly best not... ;)

(edit because, well, *fishy*, really?)

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

Hee! :D

[kel-reiley.livejournal.com]

LOL!

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

;) I did LOL like that. I like this phrase now.

[samstjames.livejournal.com]

To be honest... I think, I don't get it. o.O
That's embarrassing, but anyone cares to shed some light oon this for me?

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

Probably lost in the translation!

Jack fails at making women's knickers damp when he displays disgusting table manners. :D
(At least THOSE two women.)

[slaymesoftly.livejournal.com]

Hee! I love that "moisture-killer" Cute and clever.

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

I am shamelessly stealing my friends' phrases. Shamelessly.

How did I live this long and never hear that one?

Now that I've wiped the tea off my laptop...

[dremiel.livejournal.com]

*snicker* Nice to start the day with this vignette!

Re: Now that I've wiped the tea off my laptop...

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

Hee! I don't have the patience to put something into a story later.

...because I've got writer's block this week! :D

[cookiesofkarma.livejournal.com]

LOL! Foxy you naughty person! I do like 'moisture-killer'. XD I LOVE IT! :D

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

oneloveonelight is totally hilarious. :D

[hab318princess.livejournal.com]

*giggles*

loved that! so funny :D

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I can't take credit for it. Stole phrases! :D

[elainasaunt.livejournal.com]

I LOL'd. In the middle of Terminal 2 at O'Hare.

Wonder if JB really eats with his mouth open*, or if it's just somebody really paying attention to character detail? Hm, there must be vid somewhere...

*No Megalodon cracks, pls.

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

Oh no. Do they need humidifiers in the airport? :D

There's footage from one of the behind-the-scenes things where JB is stuffing doughnuts in his face. It's sort of fanon, except for the line about Jack's manners in the ep with Beth, and Ianto's all "HUR HUR YOU SHOULD SEE HIS MANNERS IN BED", and Gwen LOLs.

I'm getting this wrong. I've just had a drink, though... :D

[oneloveonelight.livejournal.com]

*insert apology for being late to the party as always. Because my boss is a megalodon and I didn't get online until now*

OMG!!!! I fucking love it! Haaaaa! Aww, I'm flattered. Hee. Now, I have a new term to introduce to introduce girlfriends!

Another idea, if you REALLY want to be harsh to someone who is seriously a moisture killer like... oh, Cheney or someone, insult him by calling him a silica gel sachet. "Yeah, you desiccant... BAG! "

O....k. I've taken this too far, haven't I? I love going too far. I remember saying that in high school a lot too.

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

YEAH you are the queen of new words!

SILICA GEL SACHET. Damn. You should have written this vignette.

You can never go too far. ILU AND YOUR MIND. :D

desiccant... bag!

[shadowbyrd.livejournal.com]

*snorts*

This is strangely sweet with them all cracking up together. I love the image of Jack stood there, stuffing his face and being "what? What's funny, guys?"

I have to say, watching Ianto eat doughnuts has much the same affect on me.