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51stcenturyfox ([personal profile] 51stcenturyfox) wrote2009-07-08 09:33 pm
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Tonight on TORCHCRACK. Part Drei

That's Part THREE.

Much awesomeness. And some mondo freakiness.




Criminal Gwen and team.:  "I know all the tricks."  Damn, it  feels good to be a GWENSTA.  (Someone needs to make this video. I can pay you in some sort of baked goods.)

They could have raised some money by babysitting or whatever instead of lifting laptops and jacking convertibles. TEN QUID A KID.

Jack in a t-shirt and sweatpants. It's never been so easy to COSPLAY JACK. Just saying.

La la la. Rhys is happily making beans while Jack and Ianto are urging him to LEAVE so they can have a SHAG. LOLZ.

Jack's daughter, Jack Jr. Alice reminds me of Nigella Lawson.  Nigella Lawson with a gun and a big, pointy scimitar in her trousers. (Alright, it was a knife. But I love that word. Scimitar.)

Kids are pointing to LONDON.  Damn place is an alien magnet.  

Clem has that scent-induced babble tic again.  Why didn't he whiff Jack in the warehouse before he showed up?  CHILL, CLEM. TEA AND A HOT DOG.

...and Ianto apparently smells gay to sniffly Clem.  Which. What? 

The alien.  BARFS ICHOR.  Projectile-vomiting alien. I'm willing to bet it has lobster-claws and warts and drools.

Frobisher:  Yo, 456 what do you want?  Cats? Babies to snack on?  Oh, what? 10% of the kids? Um. Okay?  Like who decides which 10%?  Be good, children. The 456 takes the naughty ones.

What do they do with the kids?  I'm really curious.

The 456 sounded a bit like Dennis Haysbert (the Allstate pitchman) to me, slowed down:



Gwen apparently hates emoticon smileys!  Askworld FUCKING JOSSED.  First Ianto gets headaches from ice cream and now this. We're verfklempt.

:o(

Redeemed by the Italian Jack-wife, though.  Ha.
 


[identity profile] kel-reiley.livejournal.com 2009-07-09 02:44 am (UTC)(link)
(Someone needs to make this video. I can pay you in some sort of baked goods.)

i would need someone to send me the song as, sadly and unforgiveably, i do not have it in my collection

What do they do with the kids? I'm really curious.
they steal them, chain them to piles of corpses, and turn them into psychopaths that want to kill their brother parents who let go of their hands

[identity profile] 51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com 2009-07-09 02:48 am (UTC)(link)
Ooh! Yes a video with Torchwood being REALLY gangsta! And also shooting things while flying through the air and being awesome, all Guy Ritchie style.

: o !!!


OH NOES!

CREATURES. The most horrible creatures in the universe!

That means more Grays = wooden actors in the future/past. Nooo!

[identity profile] kel-reiley.livejournal.com 2009-07-09 02:54 am (UTC)(link)
i notice jack is not upset about his exploded frozen bro

[identity profile] amand-r.livejournal.com 2009-07-09 02:55 am (UTC)(link)
The alien. BARFS ICHOR. Projectile-vomiting alien. I'm willing to bet it has lobster-claws and warts and drools.

I AM GLAD TO SEE I AM NOT THE ONLY PERSON WHO WAS ALL o_O?

Redeemed by the Italian Jack-wife, though. Ha.

Made of awesome!

[identity profile] amand-r.livejournal.com 2009-07-09 02:57 am (UTC)(link)
Dude, please tell me that you'll use the outtakes where GDL is rapping on the set. IT WORKS. IT DOES.

GOD, HOW CRAZY WOULD IT BE OF THEY WERE THE SAME ALIENS AS THE ONE WOT TOOK GREY. NO WAI.

[identity profile] 51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com 2009-07-09 02:58 am (UTC)(link)
Probably totally relieved that he doesn't have to make any decisions about it.

He couldn't bring himself to kill Gray. Ever. I'd bet.

[identity profile] 51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com 2009-07-09 02:59 am (UTC)(link)
It was... disgusting.

SPLASH! SPURT! GLOB! Blaaaarrgh!

[identity profile] phaetonschariot.livejournal.com 2009-07-09 03:01 am (UTC)(link)
I really wish I could make fanvids (I don't have editing software or anything, my Mac is a sorry excuse for a Mac) because I want to do one to Alanis Morissette's Not The Doctor.

[identity profile] amand-r.livejournal.com 2009-07-09 03:01 am (UTC)(link)
I guess that was supposed to make it scary, like "what you don't see is more terrifying because you imagination does the work for you," but meh.

Thank god it's not daleks.

[identity profile] phaetonschariot.livejournal.com 2009-07-09 03:01 am (UTC)(link)
Ianto would have to do it for him like Jack did with Lisa.

[identity profile] phaetonschariot.livejournal.com 2009-07-09 03:02 am (UTC)(link)
...and Ianto apparently smells gay to sniffly Clem. Which. What?

^^ My only guess is that he still has sperm in him from last time they had sex. Clem can smell Jack's pheromones on him!

[identity profile] 51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com 2009-07-09 03:05 am (UTC)(link)
I've read that fic, I think!

[identity profile] phaetonschariot.livejournal.com 2009-07-09 03:06 am (UTC)(link)
Ther'es probably a million of them. I read one recently where he's a time agent and has to kill Grey because he's going to get out sometime and, like, murder huge numbers of people.

GOING FOR BOOZE & KFC MWAHAHA.

[identity profile] mrsalemp.livejournal.com 2009-07-09 03:07 am (UTC)(link)
It's never been so easy to COSPLAY JACK. Just saying

LOL! And thats with the fact that the coat can apparently be purchased at any of your fine military surplus outlets :)

[identity profile] 51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com 2009-07-09 03:09 am (UTC)(link)
I want to do some totally sick fanvids. I did download software but I feel like a giraffe staring at Linux.

[identity profile] smirnoffmule.livejournal.com 2009-07-09 03:11 am (UTC)(link)
They could have raised some money by babysitting or whatever instead of lifting laptops and jacking convertibles. TEN QUID A KID.

Possible shortage of people willing to hand their kids over to Team Torchwood - I think something about them would (quite rightly) set parental alarm bells ringing. If Rhiannon, the lovely motherly Welsh lady, is their competition... Yeah, they need to nick stuff.

[identity profile] smirnoffmule.livejournal.com 2009-07-09 03:12 am (UTC)(link)
BUT IT'S BEEN THREE DAYS D: SOMEONE GET THE MAN A SHOWER STAT.

[identity profile] 51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com 2009-07-09 03:13 am (UTC)(link)
I am cosplaying Jack right now in my jammies! YES! :D

[identity profile] 51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com 2009-07-09 03:14 am (UTC)(link)
Definitely!

"Hey, we totally won't experiment on your kids now that the aliens aren't talking through them anymore."

But why couldn't the 456 just keep talking through them? Noooo, it's got to have a poison chamber and civil servants to speak to.

[identity profile] mrsalemp.livejournal.com 2009-07-09 03:14 am (UTC)(link)
*looks down at yoga pants and tshirt* Me too!! We are uberfans

[identity profile] kel-reiley.livejournal.com 2009-07-09 03:15 am (UTC)(link)
me too!

[identity profile] kel-reiley.livejournal.com 2009-07-09 03:16 am (UTC)(link)
i would also need someone to send me the outtakes video, but yes, yes i would

[identity profile] kel-reiley.livejournal.com 2009-07-09 03:17 am (UTC)(link)
giraffes are cool, man
(tell me what software you have, i will help you out)

[identity profile] 51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com 2009-07-09 03:17 am (UTC)(link)
*thinking of better gangsta songs*

I will seriously think about ideas to vid bunny!

[identity profile] amand-r.livejournal.com 2009-07-09 03:17 am (UTC)(link)
I wish i could help you. I saw it on youtube. :((

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