Writer's Block: Youthful Transgressions

[51stcenturyfox]

[Error: unknown template qotd] I. Regret. Nothing.

We learn from our experiences - especially those stemming from mistakes - if we're paying attention. 

You know what's even worse? Regretting things you didn't do. I grew up hearing: "I should have done X." and "I really wish I'd done Y."  Although... that probably prompted me to accomplish certain things so I wouldn't have similar regrets later.

Guess what? There is no rewind and I think dwelling on the past is a waste of a perfectly good present.

Dwelling on the negative is a waste of time too, but that's a post of its own. I feel it coming on, too.

Comments

[dvanulya.livejournal.com]

You know what? I used to say that. Quite seriously.

Then I fucked with someone, and hurt them in a way that they'll never get over.

I regret that. That's the only thing.

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I can totally see this being the case if someone else was affected. *hugs*

Any lame job/college/relationship decision I've ever made only hurt me in the end.

[dvanulya.livejournal.com]

Yeah. Sucks. And it's my own damn fault.

But, you know, it's in the PAST now. Unfortunately, not everyone can put stuff behind them. I can (sorta).

[oneloveonelight.livejournal.com]

That's what I regret. I hurt a few other people. But then I beat myself up over that for years and years which... wasn't good. So, I regret regretting everything TOO much.

[dvanulya.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I hear you. I'm over the beating myself up for it, too. Until it gets brought up again. That's not good.

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

Dwelling on the negative is a waste of time too, but that's a post of its own. I feel it coming on, too.

I try to be that way, too. But alas, earwax.

You are awesome.

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

YOU are. And I think there's a huge difference between accepting the negative stuff and remembering it versus wanting to change things that we've done which... can't be changed now. If that makes sense.

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

Good point. I can't look back on things and regret, because I can't DO anything about them, you know? Like I look at them and say, "well, if that ever comes up again, you should handle it differently." And when something is over? It's over. Don't let it stick with you so that it eats at you. (The general you, not you you.)

[rednwhiterose.livejournal.com]

I don't regret, because as you say, we learn from our mistakes if we're paying attention. My one desire however is that I'd learn a little sooner then when I did, because when I look at my past I see myself repeating the same patterns over and over. Although, there are those that would argue that I'm still young enough to not continue in these patterns. I just have to remind myself of that and try not to beat myself up to badly over this.

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

True, but you know, it's hard to learn some things unless you've experienced a negative result. Holy shit... I just stood next to the bonfire, and yeah, it's hot! ;)

At least you see the repeating patterns; a lot of people don't. It's not always easy to be self-aware, but awesome that you realize this instead of failing to notice it.

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

I just stood next to the bonfire, and yeah, it's hot! ;)

What are you talking about? You do that with shorts on, and you don't have to shave! Awesome!

Just tilt the head back. You need those eyebrows. Unless you're in Pink Floyd.

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

Or if you're Matt Smith.

Whoopi Goldberg = another person who lacks brows. She does make up for it with awesome hair, though.

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

If I wasn't pasty mc pasterson, I'd had dredlocks with like ribbons and shit in them. Like a white George Clinton. Awwww, sheeit.

[rednwhiterose.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it just took a lot of f**king growing pains to get to this point. And lemme tell ya, growing pains suck. :0)

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

YES they do!

[hudeguy101.livejournal.com]

Such a good philosophy. When I went skydiving earlier this year I was willing to accept the risk (death) rather than live a life without doing it. Doing things like that really puts the rest of your life in perspective, and I constantly wonder how people can spend their lives trying to climb the corporate ladder, but that's another post of its own as well.

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

See, yeah... THIS. Though I really don't want to jump out of a perfectly good plane, personally. :D

On the corporate ladder climbing, there's a lot to be said for moving out of a pattern that doesn't suit you and doing something else. I think the saddest part is when people look back on that climb - or whatever they did which wasn't the best choice for them - and end up lamenting the time spent on it instead of moving forward.

[lawsontl.livejournal.com]

I completely agree, and that is my philosophy: to live to regret the things I did, not the things I did NOT do. Though I am pretty good in the "no regrets at all" category. It's true, you have to learn and move on. Regret really only lingers if you don't make amends when you make a mistake. I've made mistakes, and I've made amends for all the ones I'm aware of (I'm sure there have been some that I wasn't aware of). All in all, I'm pretty satisfied with who I am to date.

I'm not happy with my job right now, just not sure where to go instead of it, and this is really not the market to be changing careers, so that's going to be the big thing on the radar for a bit. Which reminds me, gotta call the pshrink!

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

I'm not happy with my job right now, just not sure where to go instead of it, and this is really not the market to be changing careers, so that's going to be the big thing on the radar for a bit.

Hey, practicality is sometimes the order of the day!

And I do agree about making amends if someone else is hurt or affected by a decision.

[neifile7.livejournal.com]

And here's your theme song for this post:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tjmNgPkAp4g

And really, paying attention is what it's all about, right?

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

Car ma vie, car mes joies,
Aujourd hui, a commence avec toi!

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

Exactement! And it's so much better en Francais.

(If Anya and I were shacked up, we'd never fight over the stereo.)

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

If you and Anya were shacked up, I'd break in and install a webcam.

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

You definitely wouldn't regret that.

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

Non! Je ne regrette rien!

[neifile7.livejournal.com]

It's an arrangement. She does the playlists, and I do the Play Lists.

And then we switch once in awhile because, y'know, we're flexible like that.

And I have Gwen's sonic mascara at the ready if I'm displeased with stray webcams. So no regrets there, either.

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

You guys are so cute.

I wish I had sonic something. Sonic tampons, probably. No one would ever fuck with that.

[neifile7.livejournal.com]

Sonic tampons are said to be excellent for cramps, as well as remote webcam operation.

Foxy's as cute as they come. She puts up with me because I feed her porn and chocolate and buy her Tiffany baubles with my milk money.

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

Well, I need that remote webcam. It's how I keep in touch with mah peeps!

Don't forget the huge rack. She told me I have to pimp her huge rack.

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

I appreciate it. Truly.

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

::gropes::

[neifile7.livejournal.com]

Hey. Pimp all you want, but consensual groping only.

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

:(

[kenazfiction.livejournal.com]

Here, here!

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

\O/ YAYS!

[paragraphs.livejournal.com]

No real regrets except regarding my education. I have hundreds of credit hours, and no degree, and grew up at a time when girls went to college to get a man, and I did. Now my daughter is in college, things are different, and I am very glad of that.

There are other things I would change (esp. re: my marriage, myself) but I am who I am, and I am glad of that. Looking forward to the future is good, but me? I mostly live in the day (okay maybe month or so) because I am in no hurry for life to get to where it is going anytime soon.

It is pretty damn awesome right now!

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

Yes, I sort of...blew my best educational opportunities too. But I think the results were interesting, though - I wouldn't have done the things I *did* do if I'd been traditional there. A lot of my school friends ticked every box properly and yet aren't happy, or have careers they don't enjoy.

So... it's sort of YMMV!

Hooray for awesome!

[blue-fjords.livejournal.com]

First off: YMMV -- what does it mean? I DON'T KNOW! I REGRET NOT KNOWING!

Actual regret: terribly mishandled the situation when I found out my boyfriend in college had been seeing a guy over the summer. Not cheating on me, as it was before me, but it was the whole "couldn't you have told me you were gay before now?" (And he's gay, not bi.) I wanted to be all accepting, but it was also a very important relationship to me and it irrevocably changed and I did not react how I wanted to.

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

Your Mileage May Vary. :)

You know, I don't think it's too much to ask for your boyfriend to tell you he's gay kind of early on in the relationship. Your reaction sounds understandable... especially since "Found out" indicates to me that he didn't exactly tell you himself.

Given the circumstances, I'll bet he understands.

[blue-fjords.livejournal.com]

See? This is why I think you should be a DJ/radio personality. You could have your own call-in radio show: It's All Good w/ Foxy. And you could play the comment porn battle playlists.

ILU. I figured that one out myself.

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

LOL... [Bad username or site: @ livejournal.com] can do the advice bit. I'll just spin the trax!

[used_songs]

My only regrets are when I was thoughtless/self-absorbed and hurt someone else. The rest, even the big mistakes, were worth it because, as you say, I learned from them.

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

We do learn, and then we're on new paths which are interesting.

I think the point of being human is to learn things as we go.

[used_songs]

Yeah, I know for a stone cold fact I wouldn't appreciate my life nearly as much as I do if I hadn't come so close to really fucking it up.