Ficlet: Little Pill (Jack/Gwen) R

[51stcenturyfox]

Title:  Little Pill
Author:51stcenturyfox
Characters: Jack/Gwen
Wordcount: 650
Summary: From a prompt at touchyerwood : Retcon (bonus points if it's ongoing and the one being retconned forgets each "first time")
Rating: R



The first time, when he pulled out the little wooden box and placed a tiny chalk-white pill in the palm of her hand, Gwen shook her head violently.

"I know what you mean to do, and I can't say I don't appreciate the... thought, but it took a while to decide and I just have to accept now that we-"

"No," Jack replied quietly. "Gwen." He stilled her quivering fist and reached for the plastic water bottle next to the camp bed, leaned close. "Retcon doesn't really work on you, does it?"

She shook her head again.

"We take care of one another's... needs, right? I'll explain. Then give me the pill. The next time, I won't hand it to you and I don't want to see. I can't trust myself to be this strong again."

"I won't," Gwen said. "It isn't right." But she listened.

He was asleep by the time she left.


Jack pressed against her at the side of the warehouse, watched the pulse-point at the side of her neck, took in her scent. He grazed his cock against her as they swayed, slowly, so slowly. Like a promise. Someday.


Weekend call-in. She ran into him in the showers, turned her back to wash away the blood and dust, gasped as his hands found her under the hot spray, slid down and eased her legs apart and ran his tongue upward, circling, as her hands flattened against the tile and she moaned, low and deep.


"This is like a stakeout," she said, cheeks pink, breath showing in the chill of the car. "My watch; you have a kip, Jack." But he couldn't, not after he'd watched her sleep for an hour. He took her hand.

"I-" he began, and she'd opened the door, stepped out. He made to follow her, to apologise, but Gwen was already opening a back door.

"Come on then, Jack. I'm cold too."

He paused, shocked, and scrambled to release his seatbelt.


Jack was rarely ever surprised by anything, but Gwen on his lap at his desk, throwing her shirt in the corner, shifting her hips? Sweet torture and yes and  oh god finally as he held her face and kissed her. Are you sure? His Gwen Cooper, pulling out his cock and stroking him in just the right way. Oh yeah, perfect. He couldn't have dared to imagine they'd be that... perfect together.


Jack didn't know what had possessed him that morning in the deserted house, but the way she'd looked at him... he knew it wasn't right but he wanted her and it was selfish but when she'd kissed him back, hard and fervent, he'd pulled away, sought her eyes again. Are you certain? And she'd nodded slowly. She looked sad. He could make her happy for a bit, here on the floor, on his coat, her hair fanned back against the blue silk lining, as he licked and nipped and held back for as long as he could. He'd wished for a bed then; if they were to finally... it should be special, he thought, as he fucked her, comms off.


Jack loved first times, but this would be the only time; he knew Gwen was taken, had as much of a normal life as anyone at Torchwood could manage. That was important. It couldn't happen again. He'd fucked up Eleanor's marriage, Lucia's life. Rhys could give Gwen everything she wanted, be there for her. Be normal for her. Buy her ice cream on the Plass. Be a fine dad one day. Remind her not everything was about the filth and horror and shit from the Rift. Grow old when she did. What the hell use was Jack to anyone, in the long run? 

He took the tea she passed him gratefully. They'd talk after they left the caf. He hoped he could make her understand. Jack was an honourable man now.

Jack was an honourable man.

Comments

[wiredblowfish.livejournal.com]

That was heavy. Really hot at first, but then really sad. Jack's experience in time is so lonely--as you have so powerfully illustrated here.

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

Ooh. Nice icon!

Kind of dark for the kinkmeme, but I have this theory that Gwen reminds Jack of Lucia, and that's why he's all, "BE NORMAL, YO" and wouldn't go there. I've been meaning to write that story specifically, but it just wouldn't form.

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

Jack loved first times, but this would be the only time

OMH ILU. AND YEEEEAAAAAH.

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

Yeah, baby!

Two kinks in one.

[neifile7.livejournal.com]

ILU SO HARD THIS A.M.

Brilliant, the distilling of these moments, and I like very much that you haven't separated them visually with more than a double return. They should run together like this. Also, love the reference back to Lucia; that's golden.

Also...this is terribly egotistical, but I kind of feel as though we're writing out of two halves of the same brain again, just now. :)

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

ILU 2. Two halves of the same brain! I hope that's true. I hope I hope!

Kind of a messed-up companion piece to yours, isn't it? Oh memory-wipes, now in economy size!

[paragraphs.livejournal.com]

Oh I started out wicked-grinning but then OH! Hot and Lovely, Foxy!

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

Thanks, C! It's more dark_fest-y than the dark_fest one (which I need to finish um, today.)

[elainasaunt.livejournal.com]

Oh, god. This is just so hot and sad and fucked up and, and Torchwood. For all that it's from Jack's POV, I kept thinking: Fuck, how must Gwen feel?

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

I did, too. She had to get the idea to retcon Rhys from somewhere...

Oh Torchwood, how you mess people up. (Granted, this is a bit more messed up than usual.)

[easilymused1956.livejournal.com]

Damnit. I wish I could write 'Torchwood.' But then, I think, and I know I could never write something like this.

Such a beautiful and terribly bittersweet little story. You have made me weep.

Renee

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

Aw, Renee. But I can't write Star Trek! TY! <3

[ladymerri.livejournal.com]

Ohhh, I love it! Darkness and all! And the reference to Lucia...

Poor Jack. I wonder just how many memories holes are in that brain of his.

Torchwood: This shit will mess you up.

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

Thanks, Merri!

Who knows what happened to those missing two years and if he didn't remove them himself? Lost tragic affair, maybe?

[teamharkness.livejournal.com]

This is beautiful, as always.

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much. I'm glad you liked this. :)

[wynkat1313.livejournal.com]

ouch... ow...

I dont know who to smack or hug or what. damn!

Good shit man. wow.

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

Thanks. Yeah, kind of...whoa. I like messed-up Torchwood, really.

Thank you, again. :)

[cruentum.livejournal.com]

Love how you turn this around on the usual of Jack retconning others to Jack essentially being, I don't know, it's sad that he needs it and doesn't want to need it. And well, he's a bit of a coward. Ass. But I enjoy the story and the play with the retcon.

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

Sometimes Jack can be selfish in two different ways.

Thanks, Nick. Happy you liked this. :)

[alba17.livejournal.com]

Whah! *runs off sobbing* Heart wrenching. (and sexy)

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

There's no crying in baseball Torchwood.

Okay, yeah, there's some crying.

[cerulean-breeze.livejournal.com]

I love your fics. That is all. <3

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

Thank you! <3

[prochytes.livejournal.com]

This was splendid. I love the melting-together of the moments as the tempo accelerates at the end, and how Jack notices that Gwen looks sad but(obviously) does not understand why.

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much... I'm glad you liked the structure. :)

I didn't really get into Gwen's head at all, but I like leaving things out...

[ebineez01.livejournal.com]

loves first times the most. so this was just... & a lovely twist that Gwen was the one doing the retconning. thanks

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

Thank you! :)

[unfeathered]

That is brilliant. Just such an utter twist on where you think it's going from the first line. And just... yes. That is so Gwen. Not nasty in anyway and probably hating herself for it but... it would deal with Jack's UST to neatly and yes. Perfect.

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

I like Retcon stories, but they kind of squick me if a more powerful person is giving someone Retcon, you know?

And you know, Gwen has to deal with her own guilt, but there's no one who'll tell. Aside from the guilt aspect, it's consequence-free (and she can always say no to sex - she's in control).

[mimarie.livejournal.com]

That's it, go on, break my heart why don't you...

*sighs* Is it wrong that this just makes me love them more? Horribly, perfectly them. :)

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

Aww, thanks so much!

I can't seem to write them without a boatload of angst, seriously.

[karaokegal.livejournal.com]

That's my real!Jack in all his bastardy glory, and somehow the victim as well. Brilliant.

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

This was an interesting kinkmeme prompt: how would Jack justify (or Gwen justify) retconning Jack?

I love the kinkmeme.

In a way, I was thinking of other sex pills, like Viagra. If there were a pill that replicated "what the first time with someone is like" it would be something like retcon. Because first times are awesome. But if the person is someone you shouldn't be having sex with, you get to experience the guilt of it, too, at least for a few minutes. Gwen could retcon herself too, but that wasn't in the prompt. :D