51stcenturyfox (
51stcenturyfox) wrote2009-02-04 10:12 pm
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Unintentional spousal humor part II
Him: "Why is it that people say 'batshit' for crazy and not 'guano'? They're the same thing." (Referring here to Wonkette.com posts.)
Me: "Plosives."
Him: "What? Explosives?"
Me: "No. Words with syllabic bite. You know, like 'slut'. Hammer syllables and hard stops are more effective when used in certain ways. Plus, if you're inwardly eight, like me, swearing gives you a frisson of glee. But a better question might be why people say 'batshit' and not 'catshit'."
Him: *pause* "I guess. Hey, do we have a special knife for cutting up eggplant?"
Me: "Nope."
Him: "Well, can you do it? Because the skin feels like skin and it''s like I'm doing an autopsy over here."
Me: "You're making dinner and you bring up bat crap, but the skin on an eggplant grosses you out?"
Him: "I know, right?"

Me: "Plosives."
Him: "What? Explosives?"
Me: "No. Words with syllabic bite. You know, like 'slut'. Hammer syllables and hard stops are more effective when used in certain ways. Plus, if you're inwardly eight, like me, swearing gives you a frisson of glee. But a better question might be why people say 'batshit' and not 'catshit'."
Him: *pause* "I guess. Hey, do we have a special knife for cutting up eggplant?"
Me: "Nope."
Him: "Well, can you do it? Because the skin feels like skin and it''s like I'm doing an autopsy over here."
Me: "You're making dinner and you bring up bat crap, but the skin on an eggplant grosses you out?"
Him: "I know, right?"

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I should make him into an OC. He'd be an awesome character. Hee!
From the peanut gallery: "I can't be an OC. I'm an OG. Gangsta!"
And he actually just got up to throw gang signs at himself in the mantel mirror.
And now it's the Mary Katherine Gallagher impression. "Supastar!" I'm rollin'.
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